If I had earned a dollar every time I said that phrase growing up, I probably could have retired before I ever started working. Still, sometimes even today I find myself thinking that. Our society today is all hyped on "fairness", treating everyone equally, as if that was the ultimate goal and therefore gives license to stomp all over freedoms and agency in order to press everyone down to the same level of "equality."
Going back to this oft repeated phrase of my childhood, just as often the answer I would receive to my aggravated plea was, "life isn't fair". To my young mind that explained nothing, soothed no hurt feelings, and only fueled the frustration over unfairness. My question was always, if life was not fair, why should we not try to change it instead of being content this frightful injustice? Should we not try to make it fair? But then again, I never did anything either to amend this tyrannical characteristic of life. After a prolonged season of acquiescence it was I that changed. My view of life in this respect has been modified. Some, including myself, call that repentance.
This changing process took time and started with subconscious questions. One question was, if life is hopelessly unfair then does that mean that God is unfair?! Eventually, I discovered, and this was the best part, that yes, He is! And thankfully so! Only recently I have come to understand the blessing of inequality. Life is all about unequal exchanges. When you do a job well and do not get recognized or adequately compensated for it, is that fair? Most of us would say no. Flip it around and what would you say if you were recognized and rewarded more than enough? Again, I think many of us would feel we somehow deserved it, even if we expressed ourselves otherwise. Few would say that was unfair, but it is unfair, it is an unbalanced transaction. For that same reason God is unfair. How fair was it for Christ to create this world, work with us everyday, and suffer an infinite agony that we might have eternal joy if we sacrifice our tiny wills? What kind of inequality is that? Why is it that when we get the short end of an unequal exchange that we call it cheating, unfair, and down right piratical, but when we are on the sweet end of the deal it is okay and even commendable and noble of the other party. We call the person that "ripped us off" a jerk or something worse, but we praise the generous as examplary. What is the difference?
Now, I am not saying it is wrong to accept gifts and that we should reject every generous offer on the grounds that it is unfair. If that was my message, we would have to devise a means of annihilating ourselves both physically and spiritually to escape the unfair bounty of God's ubiquitous blessings. It is my suite that we just take a second look at the life that we label unfair, and see how it is unfair in our favor more often than not.
This semester at LDS Business College has heightened my awareness of God's unfair dealings with me. There have been many times when I have been overly blessed. For the first month I was using public transit and my own two feet to move from home to school to work and back home, and it was fine. God worked it out that I was given stewardship of a car. I call that an unfair deal! I did nothing to deserve it, I pay nothing close to what it is worth to me, and yet it is here at my disposal. Do not espouse the idea the blessings of God, though undeserved, do not have strings attached. All blessings are tools, as Elder Bednar explains in his book Act in Doctrine, for us to progress, do His work, and become like Him, which outcome is for our own joy and happiness. There again, it is all lopsided, the whole thing is skewed. God gives us a blessing/tool, which He helps us learn how to use, for us to become like Him, to the end that we might be infinitely happy as He is happy. "It's just not fair!" Thank goodness! King Benjamin expressed this thought most eloquently when he proclaimed these words in a General Conference of the Nephites.
Going back to this oft repeated phrase of my childhood, just as often the answer I would receive to my aggravated plea was, "life isn't fair". To my young mind that explained nothing, soothed no hurt feelings, and only fueled the frustration over unfairness. My question was always, if life was not fair, why should we not try to change it instead of being content this frightful injustice? Should we not try to make it fair? But then again, I never did anything either to amend this tyrannical characteristic of life. After a prolonged season of acquiescence it was I that changed. My view of life in this respect has been modified. Some, including myself, call that repentance.
This changing process took time and started with subconscious questions. One question was, if life is hopelessly unfair then does that mean that God is unfair?! Eventually, I discovered, and this was the best part, that yes, He is! And thankfully so! Only recently I have come to understand the blessing of inequality. Life is all about unequal exchanges. When you do a job well and do not get recognized or adequately compensated for it, is that fair? Most of us would say no. Flip it around and what would you say if you were recognized and rewarded more than enough? Again, I think many of us would feel we somehow deserved it, even if we expressed ourselves otherwise. Few would say that was unfair, but it is unfair, it is an unbalanced transaction. For that same reason God is unfair. How fair was it for Christ to create this world, work with us everyday, and suffer an infinite agony that we might have eternal joy if we sacrifice our tiny wills? What kind of inequality is that? Why is it that when we get the short end of an unequal exchange that we call it cheating, unfair, and down right piratical, but when we are on the sweet end of the deal it is okay and even commendable and noble of the other party. We call the person that "ripped us off" a jerk or something worse, but we praise the generous as examplary. What is the difference?
Now, I am not saying it is wrong to accept gifts and that we should reject every generous offer on the grounds that it is unfair. If that was my message, we would have to devise a means of annihilating ourselves both physically and spiritually to escape the unfair bounty of God's ubiquitous blessings. It is my suite that we just take a second look at the life that we label unfair, and see how it is unfair in our favor more often than not.
This semester at LDS Business College has heightened my awareness of God's unfair dealings with me. There have been many times when I have been overly blessed. For the first month I was using public transit and my own two feet to move from home to school to work and back home, and it was fine. God worked it out that I was given stewardship of a car. I call that an unfair deal! I did nothing to deserve it, I pay nothing close to what it is worth to me, and yet it is here at my disposal. Do not espouse the idea the blessings of God, though undeserved, do not have strings attached. All blessings are tools, as Elder Bednar explains in his book Act in Doctrine, for us to progress, do His work, and become like Him, which outcome is for our own joy and happiness. There again, it is all lopsided, the whole thing is skewed. God gives us a blessing/tool, which He helps us learn how to use, for us to become like Him, to the end that we might be infinitely happy as He is happy. "It's just not fair!" Thank goodness! King Benjamin expressed this thought most eloquently when he proclaimed these words in a General Conference of the Nephites.
"I say unto you that if ye should serve him who has created you from the beginning, and is preserving you from day to day, by lending you breath, that ye may do according to your own will...if ye should serve him with all your whole souls yet ye would be unprofitable servants. And behold all that he requires of you is to keep his commandments" (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 2:21-22).
Because of an unfair God our existence has meaning, our lives have purpose, and happiness is at all possible! Next time you feel that life is unfair, remember it is a good thing. Our unfair "God will work all things for our good" (When I Pray for You, from Wissman's CD He Is Faithful). 